it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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