I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Randomize
