I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize