his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
