it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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