If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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