I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
