Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
