I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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