Porn is love you can see.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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