So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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