He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
