genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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