She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
