ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I need to sanitize my soul.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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