Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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