sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Randomize
