Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
