Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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