Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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