and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize
