I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
