hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
