It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
