I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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