I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
