If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
