you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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