and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
