Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
