I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
