Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
