He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
