It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
...so i touched it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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