forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
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I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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