your room smells of hookers.
And success
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
