but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
