please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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