one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
This house was built for laser tag.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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