If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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