I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
