so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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