The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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