Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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