jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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