Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
