What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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