If i come over, it means nothing
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
