I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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