this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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