she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
