He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
last night I used snow as a chaser
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
