Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
