why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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