so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
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