I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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