dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
