there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
