im six kinds of drunk right now
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
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This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
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I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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