thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
