Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
